Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize