dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
