you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
