no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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