Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
