wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
