we have officially lost it.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
