Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
