i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
