He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
