you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
