I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
