New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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