in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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