She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
