I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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