She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
