You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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