I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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