It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
