I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
