i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i've created a new STD.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
