You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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