Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
