super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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