Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
