why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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