Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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