Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
