Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
