Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
