bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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