evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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