He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
