Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i was born a porn star she said
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
