its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
