Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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