hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i now understand why vodka
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
