So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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