just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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