NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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