It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
