no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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