I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
