I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
