I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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