its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
