It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
