nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
