Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
