It's never too late to be topless.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
