Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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