I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize