that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
