Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize