I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Randomize