Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
