Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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