For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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