I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
