But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
