well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
