I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
