sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's blow job season.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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