Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
