Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Drake has all the answers
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
