Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
