How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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