In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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