Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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